The spiritual attack I never saw coming

I never expected fellow Christians to be the ones to attack. To imply that I am embracing illness instead of putting my faith in God for healing. To say things like:

  • “Any sickness/disease is from satan. satan is trying to steal your quality of life, to destroy your purpose in life.”
  • “It sounds like your identity is who you are now with this disease.”
  • “Illness is NOT a blessing, it’s a curse!!!  If you think it’s a blessing you are agreeing with the evil one who put this on you and you will never be delivered from it…”
  • “You don’t need spiritual healing if you are a true child of God.”
  • “If you want your health and freedom back, then you have the authority as a child of the living God to take it back…”
  • “It seems that you need the renewing of your mind.”

Y’all… I’m not sick because I haven’t prayed hard enough for healing. That’s bananas! Let’s be clear—I buy none of what has been stated above and it will not shake me… not even a little. In fact, it shows me how I have to help protect my fellow neighbors who also undergo such attacks.

You see, when I became ill, it was not a dark night of the soul where I wrestled with my faith. Quite the opposite. I fell deeper into my faith. I felt comforted and loved. I felt my spirit growing and the inkling of new callings.

I believe that God heals and that healing comes in many forms. Yet, I don’t believe we are here to live struggle-free lives. Sometimes, we have judgments and biases that we don’t realize until a new situation sheds light on them. There is a humility and distilling of what matters when you become ill. I am thankful for what I’ve learned and what I continue to learn. I see now why people who have been through the toughest journeys become the best ambassadors . Why the woman who beat cancer runs the cancer foundation; why the mother who has lost a child leads a bereavement center. I will lead too. I feel that calling simmering in my soul. My identity is a child of God, not my illness—but I will use this illness for good. I will turn it around into something beautiful.

Good things can come from tough places. And here’s a big one-we can still find happiness on rough days. It’s all about what we do with our situations. I have so much more to learn and I fail daily—but I know that God is with me and has good things in store. He makes me strong enough to overcome, and I will overcome. When I receive these attacks, I have also received support. A kind friend helped me go through these attacks biblically. My church family has prayed over me for healing as well as to persevere. They have cared for my body and my spirit. They have brought me meals and journals. They have loved my children. This is the church of God. This is the family we make for one another.

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