My first day alone

Today is a day I have been dreading… John went back to the office. I dropped the girls off at school and came home to a dark house. The electricity was out and to my surprise, it felt comforting. I lit a candle, let the cat inside, and sat with the dog as we watched the drizzle fall outside. I didn’t feel alone and I didn’t feel scared. All the what if’s dissipated. (What if I need help? What if I have a bad day? turned into… I am fine. Today is a good day. Even if it were a bad day, I’d be okay.)

Here I was, dreading this day, but it feels peaceful like a calm after the storm.

I was lucky that John was working from home while I was at my worst. It was a huge blessing. When I needed help getting to the doctor, making meals, getting around the house—he was there. When I was scared—he was there.

Now, I’m doing much better and his leaving feels like a natural part of my healing. I’m on my way to becoming more independent again. I’m going to lean into it and enjoy the calm of this dark, quiet day.

Here’s a little more about my story and how I’m coping with chronic illness

Thank you for reading this post.

I want so much for people to understand this journey – what we learn and how we grow through being sick.

If you’d like to join me, you can subscribe to this blog and its social accounts to stay up on new posts.

with much love, sara

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